Holiday Beet-down
This time of year, the Missoula winter farmers market rocks a rare energy. Crafty growers have figured out ways to make summer linger while finding ways to insulate their plants through the winter, so the bounty remains near full-on. And the arts and crafts side of the market is on steroids for the holidays. From a December farmers market in Montana, this week, you can bring home the bacon, lettuce, tomato, bread and eggs for the mayo, and a plate on which to serve your sandwich.
And then there are the beets, larger than softballs, grown by the Lemezas, a Belarusian family. A six-bag of these hard orbs felt like heavy enough to feed my family for a week, if I could only get them to eat it. I handed six bucks to Mr. Lemeza, a welder, with a handshake that could crush golf balls. Mrs. Lemeza looked on, kind as the virgin Mary.
Feeling goofy with holiday cheer, I had to ask, “do you have any beets that are, like, any bigger?” I held apart my hands to demonstrate big.
Mr. Lemeza’s windblown cheeks turned full crimson as he squinted, pondering if he should take offense. I broke the tension with a laugh, and pointed at him. He punched me in the shoulder. Ouch. I asked them how they like to eat their beets.
He leaned in conspiratorially. “Grated,” he said, gesticulating. “With Italian dressing.” He kissed his leathery fingertips.
Her recipe was more complicated. Lots of things cut up “cute,” she explained, including cutely cubed beets, carrots, potatoes, onions and pickles, all tossed in olive oil. A salad-like dish that triples as a side and condiment, it was christened, “that relish thing” at a recent potluck, thanks to the pickles, which provide the only acid. I call it Christmas Sweater, because it’s busy, and somehow cute.
As for Mr. Lemeza’s grated raw beets, I was not expecting to like them. It turns out, grated beets are just as sweet and no more earthy than cooked, and make a vibrant, crunchy, juicy bite. You can play around with the dressing, and other grated ingredients. Mixed with Italian dressing is indeed finger kissing good, though I prefer my grated beets tossed with grated carrot and a little grated garlic, dressed olive oil, salt, white and red balsamic, and topped with goat cheese.
But perhaps my favorite thing of all to do with grated beets is fry them into pancakes, like a beet-based version of the potato ladkes my mom would serve for Chanukah. The beets melt into a sweet, savory brown mouthful that will leave you wanting more. I thought that I invented this recipe out of thin air. But of course, if you can imagine it you can probably find it on the internet, and there are plenty of recipes. But I’m cool with what I came up with.
Whatever pickles your beet, the next time you come across a big ole sack you will have some tools in your chest for handling the situation. As you would expect from something high in sugar that tastes like dirt, beets will keep you grounded, and going, for the holidays and beyond.
Beet Ladkes
Sweet and savory, these patties kind of look like burgers. And come to think of it, taste better than most fake ones.
Serves 2
1 cup coarsely grated beet
¼ teaspoon of salt
1 egg
1 tablespoon flour
Dashes of pepper
1-2 tablespoon XVOO
Garnish idea: fresh dill and sour cream or mayo
Grate the beet. Measure out a loose cup and mix thoroughly with the salt. Let sit about 15 minutes, and then squeeze out the salty beet juice, leaving a golf ball-sized wad of grated beet.
Whisk the egg and milk. Add the flour and mix again. Then add the grated beets, along with the pepper. Mix well and let it sit another ten minutes.
Heat the oil and butter in a pan on medium. When it’s hot enough to sizzle, add tablespoon or larger-sized glops, and press them into sub-inch tall pancakes, making sure they don’t touch. After about five minutes, flip them. When nicely browned on both sides, serve with dill and your choice of crème.
Christmas Sweater
Bring this dish, whilst adorned with your own Christmas sweater, to the holiday party, and you will, in a word, rule. At home with the leftovers, you can relish, nourish, and prepare for the new year with strong food in your blood.
Serves 4 as a side, 2 as a main
2 half-pound potatoes, peeled and cut in half
1 pound beets, peeled
1 pound carrots, peeled
1 medium onion
2 cups dill pickles
½ cup olive oil
Salt and pepper, to taste
Steam the potatoes until soft on the outside with just a bit of lingering stiffness in the middle, about 25 minutes. Remove from heat and allow to cool.
Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 350, and peel and cube the veggies as perfectly as possible. Do the beets last, as you will need to wash the cutting board immediately.
Full disclosure: I suck at cubing things. Just try as hard as you can to be neat and organized about it. Whether it’s an onion, potato, pickle, carrot or beet, the idea is the same. Make as few cuts as possible to slice the object in all three dimensions. Start by cutting it in half, lengthwise, and lay the flat sides down (carrots you can cut down to four-inch lengths). Slicing straight down, cut off the tops and bottoms, then turn the knife 90 degrees and make a series of parallel cuts about ¼-inch apart along the top-to-bottom axes. Turn each newly-sliced half 90 degrees, and make another series of crisp, ¼-inch cuts.
The next part is tricky because it wants to fall apart. Try to pull apart each twice-sliced half, like “cutting” a deck of cards, and roll sideways onto the cutting board, so you can cut perfect cubes. If it all falls apart, just do the best you can.
Bake the cubed beets and carrots in separate dishes for about a half-hour, stirring each pan once (with separate implements), until they are a little soft and a little crunchy. Then allow them to cool to room temperature.
When everything is cool, cubed and cute, gently toss everything together, minus the beets, along with the salt and oil and. Taste and adjust the seasonings, and then gently toss in the beets, and serve.